CHAPTER 12 - ONE AND TEN

Tilly Twollop was a new member of Linden’s ‘in sim’ Abuse Team Volunteer Corps. She had been a paying member of Second Life for almost two years and that made her really old and equally wise. Tilly had seen it all and then some. Tilly had even done most of it herself so she had the needed qualifications. But when Tilly found her virtual experiences lacking something, she sought ways in which to make the virtual life more meaningful and satisfying.

Then one evening at about 2:30 am, when she was leaving Bad Girl’s club looking for some new cheap thrill, she saw an add in the classifieds. ‘Volunteer to help your fellow avatars make Second Life a better place to live,’ the advert had said, and a picture of a scantily clad male stud in a cute patrol uniform with an oversized truncheon cinched the deal. With a truncheon like that I would add meaning to this illusory existence Tilly decided. Tilly immediately volunteered.

The training had been far more rigorous that Tilly expected and involved difficult subjects like password protection, secret questions, sim shut downs, memorizing a list of bad words not allowed to be said in some restricted sims. As well as lists of bad words required to be spoken on other sims. It was all very confusing at first. But after a while she got a grip on the subject matter and took the test. The test was really hard and it had three tricky questions on it. Thank the gods, thought Tilly, they were true false questions. After the third attempt she passed with flying colors because she got two out of three correct.

She was given her little uniform and hat, and she had spent considerable time adjusting the clothing to reveal just enough skin, but no so much as to be unbecoming a member of the Abuse Team.

“One nipple or two?” asked Tilly of her fellow graduate Dimweed Nelson.

Dimweed turned toward Tilly in the locker room of the Abuse Team Headquarters and then into the mirror. Dimweed was a fluffy and Tilly really could not tell of what persuasion the fluffy avatar was – male, female, perhaps neutered? However Dimweed was an honest soul and a fine furry friend.

“Well,” said Dimweed, “I prefer the symmetry of two, but I think that current fashion dictates only one.” Dimweed reached for Tilly’s scanty bodice and gave it a gentle tug downward and a cute little bosom popped out. “Hmm,” thought Dimweed out loud. After due consideration Dimweed tugged the other side with the same result. Dimweed stepped back to consider the options. After about too long, Tilly realized that Dimweed was a male.

“Oh Dimweed,” laughed Tilly as she decided on a more chaste tank top with bare midriff, stiletto heels on thigh high boots, and panties by Verisimilitude.

Tilly reached into her locker and pulled out her truncheon and her holster. She strapped the black leather holster in place, spun her truncheon with the expertise of a rookie, and slid it into the holster. Then she put on her smart officers cap. One last look in the mirror as she adjusted her eyeliner, and she was off to the graduation ceremony. Governor linden himself was going to be the speaker. Tilly was so excited at the prospect of a new second life.

In the distance the Abuse Team Marching Band and Ska Corps had begun playing one of Tilly’s favorites. She listened carefully.

“I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.”

“We better get going” said Tilly to Dimweed who was combing his face. “We don’t want to keep the others waiting.”

Dimweed nodded and they both went running out of the locker room and into the playing field at the old All Sims Stadium north of the capital. The usual venue for graduation was not available. The Capital City Stadium having been burned to the ground in the Little Ben riots several months ago.

Tilly and Dimweed lined up with their fellow graduates, all two of them, in a line and stood at attention. The Band continued to play and was joined by the male chorus from the prestigious School for Wayward Girls.

“All around in my home town
They’re trying to take me down.
They say that want to bring me in guilty
For the killing of a deputy”

Tilly felt proud and only wished her parents could be her to share this special moment in her life. But then again if they ever found out about her life in Second Life there would be Hades to pay. So she didn’t invite them. But her younger sister Nillis had seen Tilly’s me-space account and knew the truth. It had cost Tilly 1000 lindens to keep Nillis quiet.

Tilly looked into the stands and many of her friends and past lovers were there. She had invited everyone she knew and she was happy that all three of them had made it.

Governor Linden mounted the stage and went to the podium. He pulled a sheet of paper from his coat pocket and the Band wound up the final refrain.

“Aghhraa”, said the Governor clearing his throat. The he glanced down at his notes and began his oration. “Pastrami on Rye, hot mustard, hold the …”

“Oops,” said the Governor, “Wrong oration.”

The crowd laughed and the Governor fished into his pants pocket and pulled out a small yellow Posit It note.

“Ah here it is,” said the Governor.

Tilly had hoped that the Governor would not drone on and on as was his want. And she was gratefully surprised when he simply congratulated everyone on a nice day and then sat down.

Then the ceremony was over and they marched off the field as the band played and combined woman’s and men’s chorus sang:

“Fame and fortune,
That's all they crave.
And all it ever gets them
Is an early grave”

Rookie Abuse Team members were assigned to distant provinces and Tilly and Dimweed were no exceptions. They had drawn the name of the remote sim of LaLa Moon.

There was not much to LaLa Moon. The sim was basically empty except for the usual juvenile castle and a shopping center for hair and skin that was run by the sim owner. The land was flat and was sectored out into a series of square grass plots separated by straight cobblestone roads. LaLa Moon was a bilingual sim and supported both Japanese and English.

Tilly and Dimweed didn’t know a word of Japanese, but Japanese avatars were so polite and well behaved they never presented any problems.

The job of the Abuse Team Volunteers was simple. Watch out for ‘griefers’ and others who could make life miserable for other avatars. Their job did not include stopping simple griefers, like the kind that insulted people, or mooned them in the public square. No it was the scripting griefers that Tilly and Dimweed were empowered to stop. During training Tilly had seen horrific me-tube videos of whole sims and sectors of Second Life brought to its knees by evil scripts. Often these scripts were simply replicate themselves until all the server capacity and memory had been consumed in the sim and everyone froze, or even worse continued to live an a jello lagged world of pain and suffering. Particle engine griefing scripts were the usual, but lately “advertising” prims which replicated like mad and flew in all directions had become all the rage among the insane set.

Tilly and Dimweed were equipped with two powerful tools, beside their attractive truncheons. First they could call Linden Central and shut down an offending script or program. And second they could ‘ban’ a griefer temporarily until a trial could be held in Capital City. The ban was very effective, but the griefers never showed up for trial and they simply changed their names and appearance and popped up someplace else to spread their misery, hatred, and their jejune stupidity.

They had been on the job for less than an hour when they spotted their first griefer. He was using an illegal copy bot to steal hair at the boutique. Dimweed was the first to spot the criminal and they both held back to make absolutely sure that the thief was guilty. Tilly did a quick profile check on the avatar named ‘sosyouroldman Samel’. Just as she expected the avatar was only hours old, yet he could walk, fly, and steal like the experienced pro he was.

“He’s an alt,” whispered Tilly to Dimweed. Dimweed nodded.

Tilly and Dimweed stepped behind a tall signpost to consider their options. Tilly consulted her note cards on policy and procedure for copy bot thieves. As she read Dimweed kept the ‘perp’ under survelience. When Tilly completed the logic tree the remaining branch pointed to ‘Call For Backup - Notify Linden Central.’

Tilly was nervous and excited. Her palms were sweating. She reached for the message button and clicked it.

“Yah, wadda ya want?” asked an irritated and sleepy voice on the other end of the IM machine.

“Copy Bot thief observed stealing hair in LaLa Moon. This is Tilly Twollop ATV number 34B.” said Tilly in her deepest voice. “Requesting back-up per procedure 2, ASAP.”

“Why didn’t you say that earlier,” said the disembodied voice. “I’m sending Officer Kropkee right away.”

Within moments Officer Kropkee appeared. Tilly and Dimweed snapped to attention. Officer Kropkee looked annoyed at all their spit polish, neatly brushed hair and fur, and their newbee excitement.

“Where?” asked Kropkee. Tilly and Dimweed both pointed to ‘sosyouroldman Samel’. Samel was ripping off red wigs only. Probably a fetishist thought Tilly. She had dated one of those for a month before she got disgusted with his constant need for licorice whips and banana fritters.

Kropkee watched for a moment and then walked swiftly to the perp truncheon in hand. “Whats in your inventory Samel, if that’s your real name?” said Kropkee in a really deep and scary voice.

Samel was surprised and practically jumped from his skin as he saw the Officer.

“Nothin,” said Samel. “Nothin at all copper.”

He’s a hard one thought Tilly. Probably a serial offender.

“Come with me to the station, Samel, your under arrest for stealing stuff with a copy bot,” said Kropkee. Tilly and Dimweed came from out behind the sign and joined Kropkee figuring it was now safe to be seen.

Samel sneered at them both. He’s a bad egg thought Tilly.

Officer Kropkee cuffed Samel and turned to Tilly and Dimweed. “Nice job kids,” he said. “Good work.”

Tilly felt so proud and she could see Dimweed smile in a toothy grin that revealed all seventeen of his canines.

Soon Kropkee and the perp were gone.

“That will show them,” said Dimweed.

“What ya want for lunch?” asked Tilly.

Dimweed thought a bit and said, “How about kibble and bits?”

“Sounds good,” said Tilly “I never had that before.”

As both Dimweed and Tilly turned to go to lunch the both stopped cold in their tracks.

For standing before them was a sneering and evil looking sosyouoldman Samel. To make this difficult confrontation really bad, Tilly noticed, that there were 10 of sosyouroldman Samel standing there. Tilly gulped, this is not in the ATV note cards she thought.