CHAPTER 32 - VOTE UNANIMOUS

The Long Black Limo raced out of the monumental gates of the Detached Palace of the Monforte’s. As the gold walled tires hit the transition from gravel to icy asphalt they spun for a moment, and screeched. A shower of rocks pelted the Monforte Coat of Arms – a crown, an evergreen surrounded by three hands, and a dagger. A band of pigeons took flight into the clear cold sky. The Capital lay blanketed in a foot of fresh snow.

The Chair had delayed the Lupine News Corp’s board meeting until 3:00 in order for Sindy to recover and prepare for her new responsibilities. Sparkle had dug into her backpack for a fresh change of clothes for Sindy. Sindy wore a tight tee shirt with a patriotic slur emblazoned across her chest and fashionable jeans covered with shotgun holes, which discretely revealed more flesh that was advisable on a cold day in Capital City. She was bundled in rather large ermine and raccoon anorak borrowed from Muffin. Her shoes were the Manolo’s she had worn during her night of triumph the previous evening. To Sindy her flaming red hair was a mess. But to the fashionistas her hair was in the ‘in-style’ known as ‘Booze-n-Sleep’. She looked hot, hot, hot! -- much in the style of a bachelorette heiress on the prowl in Saint Morris near the lake district in the Absinthe Bar on the ski slopes of Mount Sodom. All she lacked was a bag by Bag.

The Chair leaned forward and tapped on the partition. The champagne cork proof window rolled down and Witney “Half Nelson” Llanfair, the driver, turned slightly. “Step on it Whitney, we can’t be late.” Whitney reached for a glowing red switch on the dash and then punched the accelerator hard with her size four foot. The headlights began to flash red and a siren lurched into life and began screaming “get out of the way, I’m more important than you.” The armored 80 squirrel V8 leapt into life and the limo shot forward at alarming speed down Beast Street and toward The Times building. Witney loved driving “code 3” around Capital City. As the chauffeur for Senator Hyrum Funstas, Witney did a lot of fast red light and siren driving. Not because the Senator was late or on a critical mission. But because the Senator enjoyed the attention that near misses, scattering seniors, and screaming children provided as he rushed to and from the capital office building to private lunches and long dinners with important lobbyists, vote brokers, and volunteer legislation authors. Whitney chuckled as she remembered the time they barely missed a bread truck in heavy traffic. The bread truck had overturned and collided with a possum dog delivery wagon in front of Capital City’s famous Khrons Deli. Beast Street was littered with bread and possum dogs. All they needed was a mustard tanker. She read later in The Times that there had been a run on the free condiments counter at Khrons.

As they passed the Long White Hall, The Chair noticed that the old institution needed a fresh coat of white paint. Soon in the distance the Blimp Cartel Tower came into view and began to chime 2:69. He knew they would make it on time - barely. The Limo screamed down Beast street and as they approached the Times Building which stood on the left of the street, Whitney pulled the hand break, stomped the gas, and put the armored limo into a four wheel drifting u-turn. Gold leaf on the tire walls separated under the heat and pressure as the limo slid into the discharge zone at the front of the Art Décolleté Tower housing the newspaper of record for Second Life – The Times. Witney leapt from the driver’s seat and ran to the rear passenger door. The V8 coughed and wheezed as the 80 squirrels struggled to catch their breath. As Sindy emerged into the bright winter day she was showered in cloud of gold dust.

The Chair stared in amazement as the golden cloud descended upon Sindy. Something almost mythical he thought.

The Doorman, attired in a brilliant green Hussars uniform recognized Sindy Blazer, Ace Reporter and Editor for the Society Section of The Times, and tipped his Bear Fur Hat, as he opened the large glass and brass door. “Welcome home Ms. Sindy,” he said in a deep voice. Sindy paused a moment to read the famed motto of The Times. Chiseled in Capibara Marble above the door in New Times Type Sindy read “IF IT'S PRINTED, IT MUST BE TRUE.”

Gods, I love my job thought Sindy.

At the elevator door Mr. Bubbs stood very straight and clicked his heals as Sindy and the Chair entered. Mr. Bubbs said nothing to Sindy or the Chair. He knew where they were headed. He pulled hard on the giant shinny brass lever, pulled free the dog latches, and shouted “Start ‘em up boys.” The elevator lurched upward and Sindy could hear the familiar whirl of the ferret cage and the tiny panicked pitter patter of the frightened white mouse. A tiny avatar marked down the floors as they went by on a slate board in white chalk. The avatar had marked 32 when the elevator slowed to a stop.

The polished brass door of the elevator opened slowly. Sindy stepped into the holy of holies of the Times – The Board Room. The floor above housed the private offices of Ruprecht Murdstone and his famous penthouse suite. Miss Taut, private secretary to Mr. Murdstone was waiting anxiously. In her arms she held a number of colored folders. Her mousy brown hair was drawn tight in a bun and she wore fashionable bifocal glasses from the new Gwen Stefani line. Those are expensive glasses thought Sindy. It’s the Candyland Tears line and they were more expensive than Prappa, or Gnochi by far. She must be doing well thought Sindy. Miss Taut would have been dowdy but for her tailored and tight fitting dark blue suit by A-K-R-I-S-S. Sindy remembered there had been stories about Ruprecht and Miss Taut working late on headlines and photo spreads for the Sunday edition.

“Oh, you’re here,” Said Miss Taut in a quavering high pitched voice that sounded a bit like old door hinges that badly needed lubricant. “There all there, except the new board member who represents about 7% of our stockholders. They have had their coffee, bottled water, and their cookies. They are fidgeting and getting impatient waiting for Sindy… ah Ms. Blazer” Miss. Taut continued, “The Governor, as usual, will not be attending today.”

Sindy took a deep breath as The Chair took her arm in his. They stood before the large dark almost black oak doors with the famed Double Cross logo of the Lupine News Corporation. The door swung open and The Chair urged Sindy forward as he followed.

The Chair had briefed Sindy on the board members and today’s resolution to appoint Sindy Acting Chairman and Executive Editor of all the news outlets of Lupine News, until such time as Ruprecht Murdstone, founder of the publishing, blogging, media, and blackmail empire famed for its motto “Fear and Banal Sells News,” was well enough to return to his duties. Miss. Taut motioned Sindy to the biggest chair in the room at the far end of the enormous board room table. As Sindy walked to her new seat she nodded to each board member and tried to remember their name. Hanging on one wall was an enormous portrait of Ruprecht Murdstone standing on the deck of his yacht ‘Slander IV’ and staring into the sunset. A frown or scowl dominating his face.

The first Director she noticed was Doctor Philpot Onus, Minister Extraordinaire, from the Ministry of Antiquities and Dusty Relics. He was an odd little man with the most extraordinary comb over Sindy had ever seen. Nothing less than a blond tempest of hair hovering above a broad dome of bloodless skin. Onus had life long bureaucrat written all over him. Sindy strained to see his famous hands, but they were folded and in his lap hidden by the table

Next was the empty seat for Governor Linden, followed by the place for The Chair. The Chair let go of Sindy’s hand and she proceeded to her spot at the head of the board room table. Across the table was Narlburt Talloo, President of the Rubber Goods Cartel and Cabal. A very powerful man indeed remembered Sindy. The next in line was Prissy Plumblossom's nearly comatose grandfather Sir Arthur Billette Plumblossom. Sir Arthur was on the board only by virtue of his ‘breeding’ The Chair had said. Jobless Steves, disgraced CEO of Baffles Computer, inventor of me-products was next. He was drinking water from a brightly colored yellow bottle. The label read ‘me-Water’ and there was a hologram of the Baffles Computer Clown, his head spinning and laughing insanely. A new product trial thought Sindy.

Sindy recognized Igor Eisenstein, Professor of Conventional Wisdom U of S, the smartest man in SL, and winner of the bronze medal, from the lecture series she had attended at the Heart of the Ocean Forum. She tried to remember the lecture series, and then she recalled it had been Conference for the Scientific Determination of All Things. The conference in which the empiricists faction had rioted against the domination of the relativists. It was a very ugly conference and several prominent scientists and philosophers were sent to the hospital in an ambulance. It had sold a lot of papers.

Sindy approached her brown over sized emu leather chair. Next to her chair on her left was and empty chair. On her right sat board member Salvador Tinwhistle, President of the Guild of Gods, Demigods, Deities, and Totems. Tinwhistle was a prude and was always complaining about the evils of popular cultures, the declining morals of the youth, and falling church attendance together with declining contributions to religious good works, such as his vacation home in Boca, or his plural wives, ex-wives- and loving daughters. Sindy remembered he was a General of the Third Degree during the culture wars.

Sindy sat and sank down. Literally she sank down about a foot into the soft leather chair. She felt the emu stand higher and she rose a bit and then a bit more until her chair dominated the room and she could easily see and be heard by all of those in attendance.

Miss Taut handed Sindy a single piece of paper. It appeared to be a script. Not knowing better Sindy began to read.

“I call to order the Board of Directors of Lupine News Corporation, insert date here". Sindy paused for a moment.

Miss Taut whispered “Friday”.

“Friday,” said Sindy. She continued, “Pursuant to the Board ‘Letter of Meeting Notice’, signed and noted by all present, this is an extraordinary meeting of the Board for the purpose of designating the Acting Chairperson of the Lupine News Corporation.”

She continued to read, “I move that the financial report be delayed until the next regular board meeting.”

She looked up. All the members except Plumblossom and Tinwhistle were smiling. Plumblossom was snoring quietly and Tinwhistle was drawing on a large sheet of newsprint with a newly opened box of crayons. Sindy returned to the script.

“All in favor say aye. The motion is passed unanimously,” she read.

“Now to new business,” she read.

“Our order of business is the motion to appoint Sindy Blazer Acting Chairperson until such time as Sir Ruprecht can return to work and assume his duties. You all have copies of the motion before you in the form of resolution 7265 B. Since there is no need for discussion do I hear a motion to approve the resolution?” she read.

“Yes, yes,” all present responded except Plumblossom.

“All in favor say Aye. The motion has passed unanimously,” she read. “This meeting is adjourned.”

That was easy thought Sindy as she leaned back in her emu chair. For the first time in days she felt calm and centered.

Bam! The massive doors of the Board Room swung open so hard that they struck the walls with a strong jolt. The portrait of Ruprecht Murdstone fell to the floor with a thud. And into the room walked Sister Persequor-Persequi Adel’s Chief of security and enforcement and Sister Letum, the former Iris Denmont. They walked forward and took positions on each side of the door. As they stepped aside Mother Superior Adel Flossberg, dressed in a black and white form fitting tight leather uniform of the Order of the Bloody Stain of Saint Hymenos the Benighted - Mothers of Earth Druids (reformed) appeared.

Sindy flinched.

Not a single board member moved except for The Chair who stood up.

“Gentlemen,” said Adel, “please do not stand up.”

She established eye contact with each member of the Board of Directors, except Plumblossom, and finally Adel’s eyes locked on Sindy.

Sindy began to tremble. Old prayers came to her mind, but she knew from long experience they were useless. There was no god, or gods, or prayer or mantra that could withstand the stare of the Mother Superior.

“I regret that I was unable to attend the meeting as the new board member representing 34% ownership in Lupine News Corporation,” said Adel.

The Chair looked surprised.

“I was detained by important spiritual responsibilities”, said Adel.

“However, from a deep sense of loyalty and responsibility for my former charge, Sindy, I felt compelled to take a moment to congratulate her on assuming her heavy responsibilities as caretaker for the Fourth Estate,” Adel continued.

Plumblossom woke up with a snort, saw Adel, and became rigid with fear.

“I am confident that the safety of Second Life, and the restoration of our moral traditions and continuance of law and order, will be the watchword of young Sindy’s brief tenure.”

Adel looked hard into Sindy’s eyes. Sindy felt faint. The scar on her chest began to throb and Sindy felt short of breath.

“Sindy,” said Adel, “I know The Order is safe with your assumption of this important task, and I so much look forward to your confession on Sunday. And now I must depart to lead a Requiem Mass for Sister Formidilosus. The unfortunate Sister passed last eve. She had lost her head and fell on a sword, the poor thing.”

Adel, turned and left. Security followed the Mother Superior. The doors swung shut. Miss Taut dropped her folders onto the floor. Sindy fainted.