The Times has obtained an exclusive interview with the Overseer of Clissa, Barron Von Thundergast. Here is part two of our interview. The Times Ace Foreign Correspondent Al Externus conducted the interview from his suite at the Clissa State Home for Traitors and Spies.
Times: Now that I have taken your picture for The Times, is there something you would like to say to the people of Sonogno?
Overseer: Hmm, well I think we should sit down an reason together. The people of your province must accept The Way of the Dead Hand. Without The Way salvation cannot be attained, a woman’s place in Second Life cannot be secured, and you cannot live in blissful fear and terror. We want to liberate HOTO from the satanic grip of the guileless glue of perdition. Oh, and to provide hummus for all.
Times: Can you tell us of the basic tenants of The Way of the Dead Hand?
Overseer: I cannot! That would be to blaspheme She, whose name cannot be spoken.
Times: We must accept a law we cannot see?
Overseer: Yes, that’s how the Way of the Dead Hand came to Clissa, and since our conversion, She has blessed us with the frozen waste of Quarzazate Valley, the blessed pneumonia, and Jenny Craig. I can say that without a doubt the people of Clissa are now the coolest, thinnest, and most light breathing of all avatars in SL.
Times: How is The Way communicated to the people?
Overseer: Oh, I tell them, and I can assure you they listen.
Times: And how is The Way is communicated to you…
Overseer: Ah, by direct mental induction from the Guide of the Dead Hand through heavy drinking and sexual excess.
Times: What is your opinion of the call for peace by Governor Linden?
Overseer: The Governor has called for Sonogno to submit to Clissa in order to obtain peace in our time. I think the Governor is very wise in this matter and should be obeyed by Sonogno.
Times: Did you speak with the Governor?
Overseer: Yes and it cost me an arm and a leg. Hhahaham, oops sorry no offense meant.
Times: How much did it cost?
Overseer: Let’s see, a lifetime supply of grade C hummus, and Governor Linden’s Daughter’s weight in Lindens.
Times: That’s sounds expensive.
Overseer: Have you ever eaten grade C hummus, hahahaha. And as for the Lindens, his daughter is virtual, she weighs nothing! Hahahahah
Times: Will there be war?
Overseer: Unless Sonogno destroys the weapons of mass desperation, such as the Roquefort Wheels, and submits to the Way of the Dead Hand, I think the outlook is grim.
Times: Thank you Overseer for your time.
Overseer: Your welcome, Now Igor give me the wiggly probe without the lubricant.
Times: Eeeekkk.
Times: Now that I have taken your picture for The Times, is there something you would like to say to the people of Sonogno?
Overseer: Hmm, well I think we should sit down an reason together. The people of your province must accept The Way of the Dead Hand. Without The Way salvation cannot be attained, a woman’s place in Second Life cannot be secured, and you cannot live in blissful fear and terror. We want to liberate HOTO from the satanic grip of the guileless glue of perdition. Oh, and to provide hummus for all.
Times: Can you tell us of the basic tenants of The Way of the Dead Hand?
Overseer: I cannot! That would be to blaspheme She, whose name cannot be spoken.
Times: We must accept a law we cannot see?
Overseer: Yes, that’s how the Way of the Dead Hand came to Clissa, and since our conversion, She has blessed us with the frozen waste of Quarzazate Valley, the blessed pneumonia, and Jenny Craig. I can say that without a doubt the people of Clissa are now the coolest, thinnest, and most light breathing of all avatars in SL.
Times: How is The Way communicated to the people?
Overseer: Oh, I tell them, and I can assure you they listen.
Times: And how is The Way is communicated to you…
Overseer: Ah, by direct mental induction from the Guide of the Dead Hand through heavy drinking and sexual excess.
Times: What is your opinion of the call for peace by Governor Linden?
Overseer: The Governor has called for Sonogno to submit to Clissa in order to obtain peace in our time. I think the Governor is very wise in this matter and should be obeyed by Sonogno.
Times: Did you speak with the Governor?
Overseer: Yes and it cost me an arm and a leg. Hhahaham, oops sorry no offense meant.
Times: How much did it cost?
Overseer: Let’s see, a lifetime supply of grade C hummus, and Governor Linden’s Daughter’s weight in Lindens.
Times: That’s sounds expensive.
Overseer: Have you ever eaten grade C hummus, hahahaha. And as for the Lindens, his daughter is virtual, she weighs nothing! Hahahahah
Times: Will there be war?
Overseer: Unless Sonogno destroys the weapons of mass desperation, such as the Roquefort Wheels, and submits to the Way of the Dead Hand, I think the outlook is grim.
Times: Thank you Overseer for your time.
Overseer: Your welcome, Now Igor give me the wiggly probe without the lubricant.
Times: Eeeekkk.
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